It's Beginning To Get To Me
by BJArthur
Summary: We need to feel breathless with love and not collapsed under it's weight. D/G/B OneShot inspired by Snow Patrol. rated for anger and what happens between married people.


i know: i'm jumping the gun. but i did receive reviews for the last one and the end of the month is less then five days away, so i figured why not.

so because some people (read: one person) are really stupid, i feel the need to preface this by saying that if the thought of three people being in love or having sex bothers you, or if two men having sex bothers you, (or if you're a "prude and a little girl") you shouldn't be reading this. go back now and save us both the trouble. maybe it's pregnancy hormones, but when i ask for reviews i kinda expect people not to be an idiot about them and make up stupid names like "creepology professor," especially when in reference to a storie that revolves around the love a parent has for his or her children in a completely non-creepy way. though being called a professor is pretty awesome, even if the person who said it is a total dim-wit.

and i love Atriel for being amazing. this storie is dedicated to you!

anyway, this is another one inspired by a Snow Patrol titled the same. it comes about eleven years after the last bit in **_Chasing Cars_**. it starts out two-ish months after Sept. 1st of that year, then goes back to re-trace the happenings, then goes from there. it should be mid-Nov. by the end. i think. standard disclaimer still applies and for the record i still love Gary Lightboy's face. and his brain. and pretty much the rest of him.

* * *

Ginny stood at the front desk of the hotel, bag in hand, waiting patiently in line for her turn to get a room. She had enough francs to stay here a week and still have some left over to last her until she could get a bit more. Regardless of her marital status, she was still a Weasley and knew how to save. She had two pictures tucked inside her bag: one of her family and one of her children. The twins were in their seventh year now, both Slytherin like their father. Their sister, Andren, was with them in her fourth. Gavin, the youngest, was the only Gryffindor and had just started his first year. She felt guilty that she had left before he came home but after a month and a half of the way the children's fathers treated her, she simply couldn't stay. She hoped that maybe she could convince them to come to France for their Winter Holidays, depending on where she ended up by then.

"Madame?" the concierge called to her. Ginny plastered a smile on her face and walked up to the counter. The woman had ash blonde hair tied in an elegant twist and was dressed in sensible blue robes. Her green eyes were bright and her smile perfected. She oozed of friendly efficiency.

"Bonjur. I apologize," Ginny blushed, "I don't know much French, but I need a room for about a week. It doesn't have to be anything fancy; just a bed, a bathroom and maybe a desk if possible." The woman's smile became even friendlier, if possible.

"Oui, Madame, I believe we 'ave somesing suitable for you. One moment, s'il vous plait." Ginny nodded and watched the woman consult the vacancy ledger. "You are very lucky; it looks like we 'ave un poste vacant that should suit your needs, Madame."

"Brilliant, um... merci beaucoup!" Ginny removed the appropriate amount of money from her purse.

"Oui, Madame, an a aucun mal à: it was of no trouble. Our gift store sells English to French dictionaries; si vous souhaitez, I could 'ave one sent up to your room. It would be added to your final bill, bien entendu."

"That actually sounds like a very wise investment, I appreciate your help. Thank you again!" Ginny nodded to the woman and took the proffered key then walked over to the elevators.

It was a small room on the third floor, modest as she had specified. There was a small map framed on the door indicating an escape route in case of a fire, and it also noted the location of the owlery, which Ginny appreciated. She was planning on writing Gavin eventually to let him know that things would be okay. The boy had a tendency to worry more than he needed to.

Once she was settled in her room, she ordered a light garden salad for dinner; travelling never made her very hungry. The dictionary arrived with her food and she spent a short while studying the book while eating, studiously ignoring the lightness of her left hand, the absence of flashing white gold on her ring finger. All too soon she became tired, though; while travelling had never been particularly strenuous for Ginny, it had been a very emotionally draining past few days. Stripping out of her clothes, Ginny slid between the cool sheets, forcing herself not to feel lonely. With one last look at her children's smiling faces, Ginny turned off the light and willed herself to sleep.

That night, she dreamt of the weeks and months previous, re-hashing all the ugly words and thoughts that had been thrown between her and the two she loved most.

----

There was something wrong with Draco and Blaise. Ginny couldn't put her finger exactly on what it was, but there was something bothering them. They had dropped the kids off at the train station the day before and ever since the three of them had arrived home, the two men were… distant. Draco had headed for the bed room, as he always did after a trip to Kings Cross to drop the kids off. He had dragged Ginny up after him, slamming the door before she noticed that Blaise wasn't behind them. Draco had taken her right up against the door, frantically, almost as if he was… angry at someone and she was just a way to vent his frustrations. The next morning, Blaise had jumped her in the shower with the same cold ferocity. Angry sex tended to be great sex, especially with her men, but Ginny liked knowing what she was supposed to be angry at first. Ginny was almost glad that the weather was turning early this year; the bruises the men left on her arms and hips would take a little explaining if seen. She had tried speaking to both men, individually and together, but was met with either stony silence or stilted answers that weren't really answers at all.

--

It had been two and a half weeks since the kids left. Draco and Blaise still seemed to ignore each other when in the same room and Ginny was getting worried. They still attacked her behind closed doors (and sometimes open doors), but never at the same time. It was like they couldn't even stand the sight of each other anymore.

"It's just a phase," Molly told her daughter one afternoon over tea. "They probably had an argument and don't know how to handle it yet. Just be there for the both of them and things will get better."

Narcissa had said something of the same, adding that Draco had always dealt with things by closing off and Blaise had seemed a little stressed lately. She suggested the three of them take a vacation away from the house, away from work and everything. Ginny thought a vacation was a marvellous idea, but both the boys had shot it down. Draco said that he had too much work to do and Blaise just glared at the blonde man.

"Yes," he'd said, sounding a little bitter, "Draco has too much work to do. He might as well _live_ there." The dark haired man had left after that, storming out of the dining room. Again, Ginny had asked what was wrong, but Draco said it was nothing and that Blaise was simply over reacting. The same question posed to her dark haired husband had gleaned just as vague an answer.

"Don't worry," Blaise had told her. "We're going to be okay. Just come over here and lie with me for a bit and everything will be fine."

Draco hadn't come to bed that night.

A few days later, Ginny watched her husbands as they fucked each other into the bed for the first time in a while. Well, she watched as Blaise fucked Draco into the bed. They had burst into the room around one in the morning, waking Ginny up, tearing at each other's clothes and whispering harsh words to one another, ignoring Ginny completely. Ginny was somewhat used to this, to seeing them go at each other, but the level of aggression they showed was a little frightening. Ginny had reached out to Draco but before she was able to touch him, he'd growled and caught her wrist. His grip was tight, painfully grinding her bones together, and the glare in his eyes was… it was hateful, almost, like he didn't want her dirtying him. He had never looked at her like that before; she felt like someone had driven a pike into her heart at the sight of it. Draco let go of her once Blaise started slamming into his prostate, silver eyes rolling up into his head as pleasure rolled over him. Yet the damage was already done; she had read loud and clear that she wasn't wanted. Ginny slipped out of bed, tears fighting in her eyes, and spent the rest of the night in the guest room. Neither man spoke to her the next morning. It was like they had turned their anger from each other to her and she hadn't a clue what she had done or how to fix it.

Two weeks after that, two solid weeks of sleeping in the guest room and listening to the sounds of Draco and Blaise fucking each other into oblivion coming from her own bed room (or where ever else they happened to land), which proved to be surprisingly painful, _the paper _arrived. This one was different from all the other Daily Prophets they got because of the front page headline.

_**Malfoy-Zabini Corporation Entertaining More than Just Business Deals with Head of Rival Company. **_

Below was a picture, admittedly a little fuzzy, but definitely of both of her husbands wrapped around an exotic looking brunette Ginny recognized from Ministry dinners. One of her legs was thrown over Blaise's hip and Draco's hand gripped her thigh as he ground into her from behind. Over the woman's shoulder, the men were locked in a passionate kiss. A look of wanton rapture was on the woman's face.

Ginny's blood ran cold but she was determined to wait until they got home before she reacted. She ignored the owl post that day, not even bothering to get out of bed. She did write her kids, though, to let them know not to worry and that she and their fathers would be talking about it; to let them know that everything would be okay.

But everything was not okay.

-

It was just past three in the afternoon when they came in and it was foggy outside, though the temperature was warmer than expected for early November.

"Ginevra, have you done nothing but lie around all day?" Draco's voice came from the door way. He sounded surprised to see here there, and a little upset that she had returned to their room rather than stay in the guest room. Ginny forced herself not to over react, though, telling herself that he might not mean it that way.

"You feeling alright, Gin?"

"I'm not sure," she said, facing the large bay window, away from them, as she sat up. "Have you seen the paper today?" She was surprised at how even her voice was, at how well she was able to keep her hands from shaking. There was a pause behind her.

"Stocks are up," Blaise said, sounding a bit blank.

"The international policy the Ministry was kicking around finally went through," Draco added, his own voice flat.

"Care to tell me what else was _up_ and _went through_ last night?" She tossed the front page behind her across the bed, still facing the window but praying to the floor.

'_Please let this all be some horrible joke; _please_ don't say they've actually stopped loving me.'_

"_Fuck_."

"How this happen?"

"We'll have to release an official statement."

"I don't know what she was thinking."

"Well, obviously she _wasn't_ thinking, love."

"Maldito sea; I'll get Parks on it."

"Hold it." Ginny turned around, golden eyes blazing incredulously. The boys turned to her, faces vigilantly devoid of emotion. "Have both of you forgotten who I am?"

"You're Gin," Blaise said carefully while Draco just blinked.

"I am Ginevra _Malfoy-Zabini_." She held up her left hand. "I'm your _wife_, remember? The mother of your children? Don't you think that there's something you both need to _tell_ me? Something along the lines of an _apology _or an _explanation_?" The men looked at each other, communicating some message that, for once, Ginny couldn't read. "Nothing?" Ginny got off of bed and stood facing them, hoping they couldn't see her heart breaking in her eyes, on her face. "There is _nothing_ either one of you wish to tell me?" Again, there was no response. "Fine."

Ginny went to the closet and began tossing her clothes into a bag. Only numb rage kept her from breaking down, carrying her from closet to dresser, tossing various things into her bag. And both of the men just stood there, staring at her; their lack of reaction, the fact that they didn't seem to care, made their betrayal all the worse. She removed the diamond earrings Blaise had given her for Christmas her sixth year, the locket Draco had given her for her 21st birthday and her wedding ring, dropping all of them on the floor as she moved around the room. They all had various charms and spells on them to protect her from things or to help them find her if they needed to. They wouldn't be needing to find her or protect her anymore, and to Ginny it was glaringly obvious that they didn't even want to.

"No one wants to tell me anything, you want to cut me out of your lives, than I'm gone. You won't have to worry about keeping anything from me anymore. You can go to your little hussy and spend all the time you want with _her_." She stormed out of the room, missing the gaping looks from the men as she passed them.

"Missis?" Mosey and Twilly appeared on the stairs as Ginny tromped down the hall. "Is Missis going on a trip?"

"Missis isn't just going on a trip; she's _leaving_, because your _stupid_ Masters have decided that after four children and eighteen years of marriage, that they can use me as a means of venting their frustrations _and_ cut me out of their lives. And I'm not about to sit around and wait for them to break my heart any more than they already have." Ginny swallowed a sob, the catch in her throat bringing more tears then her pride would allow.

"Gin-"

"Ginevra, wait." A plea, a command, but Ginny had had enough.

"_No_!" Ginny whirled around at the front door, the fire and sadness in her eyes stopping them on the stairs. "I _have_ waited. I'm _through_ with waiting for you to talk to me and wondering what was wrong, what _I_ did wrong. You want to fuck each other like animals and ignore that I'm even alive and hump some _office slut_, _**fine**_ but _don't_ expect me to be waiting for you two anymore! I'm _done_!"

She whirled out the door and dissaperated before either man could reach her.

----

Ginny woke up, crying and reaching out for two men who weren't there, who hadn't been there for the past three days, for longer. The clock on the bedside table read 2:30am and with nothing but black and moonlight surrounding her, she could admit that she missed them, that she _needed_ them. But they had hurt her so much, they broke her heart. Using her for her body, shutting her out in a way they never had before, and the final betrayal. They had offered up no explanation, no reason for their behaviour. Ginny lay back down and closed her eyes, hoping that when sleep came this time it came alone, and no dreams accompanied it.

---

Gavin Malfoy-Zabini sat at the Gryffindor table, feet swinging where they didn't quite touch the ground. He was facing his siblings at the Slytherin table and waiting for lunch to appear on the platters before him. Mail would be coming today and he was really hoping that his mum sent him something. Gavin hadn't heard from her in a while but whenever he asked, his dads simply kept saying that she sent her love. He was a little worried because he had seen the news article about his dads and the head of that other business, but Lucas and Linus said that it was just a hoax because their dad and da would never do anything like that to their mum. Sure enough, the next day a press release had been printed saying that the other woman had used an illegal Polyjuice Potion and that the heads of Malfoy-Zabini Corp were in the process of pressing charges. Gavin was glad they were clearing everything up, but he still really wanted to hear from his mum.

As lunch foods popped up along the tables and owls filtered in through the high windows, Gavin thought about his afternoon classes and hoped that he had enough information on his Potion's essay. Both his dads were really good at them and they helped him with some pointers before he left for school, but he still worried. The professor was a bit a hard nose and didn't like Gryffindors very much, even if their fathers did used to be two of his favourite students. Apparently, Gavin had enough of his mother in him to really torque the old bat off, so he was very determined to show that slimy Potions Master that he was just as good as his siblings.

Gavin noticed that his dads' owls flew over to Lucas, Linus and Andy, but the one headed towards him wasn't one that he was able to recognize. It was big and brown and kind of clumsy looking, but it flew straight and didn't knock anything over or get feathers in any of Gavin's lunch when it landed, for which he was rather thankful. He untied the letter and beamed, seeing that the handwriting on it belonged to his mum, though the return address was in France. Offering the owl some small bits of bread and ham, he opened the letter.

_My sweet Gavin,_

_I miss you terribly. Somehow I feel like I had a bit longer time with you when you were younger then I had with your siblings and it's hard to imagine you so far away from me. I find myself carrying a picture of you and your siblings around with me everywhere. _

_Unfortunately, Gavin, I have some sad news. The last letter I sent you, I told you about the news article your fathers were in and how everything would be okay once we could talk about it. That does not seem to be the case. I am not with your fathers anymore. It was not an easy decision, but they hurt me too much for me to stay. Please don't be upset at them and don't think I'm abandoning you, either. Let your brothers and sister know that I'll be seeing you at least over the start of Winter Hols. There are quite a few fun things I've found where I am that I know you're going to get for Christmas and I'm very sure that you'll love them. To be honest my bags are getting rather heavy carrying things around for all of you!_

_I want you to know that I love you very much and that I'll always be around should you need me. I'm only an owl away, sweetheart. _

_All of my love forever and ever,_

_Your mother._

Gavin frowned and looked up at Lucas and Linus. They looked like they were cursing, and Andy looked like she might cry. Forgetting his lunch, the youngest Malfoy-Zabini jumped up from the table and ran over to the Slytherins, letter still clutched tightly in his hands.

"Does yours say the same thing?" he asked without preamble, shoving his letter at his older brothers. Andy caught him around the waist as the twins scanned the paper from their mother, holding him more for her own comfort. She didn't want their mother to leave, but she knew that whatever her daddy and da had done must have been pretty bad if she had.

"Fuck," the twins intoned together.

"Nos siguen." Lucas stood up and ushered them all out as Linus gathered up the letters and followed after them.

Their fathers had been able to swing the twins their own room since their fifth year, and it was private enough for them to discuss family matters without drawing attention to themselves. The other students didn't bother them too much about it because not only were they Malfoy-Zabinis, one of the most powerful wizarding families in the UK (possibly the world, but they hadn't checked recently), but the twins were also built like their older uncles Bill and Charlie – rather large and boulder-like. The sudden appearance of muscle when they were fifteen that they never really seemed to stop adding to, added to the fact that they looked very much like every Malfoy ever physically recorded, made them a very intimidating pair. They were both beaters for the Slytherin House Quidditch Team, and while Linus was listed as the captain, they both shared the post equally. Lucas was also technically Head Boy, but they shared that too. They carried themselves like the royalty everyone believed them to be, much like their dad had when he had been their age.

Andy trailed after them, Gavin still caught in her arms. She was probably the sweetest Slytherin in Hogwarts, and often used the soft looks she'd inherited from her mother to get her own way. Her Grandmother Calida and Grandfather Lucius were very proud of her use of cunning to get away with anything. But she did tend to have a soft heart, which made it nearly impossible to hate her. Andy was very much like a Weasley that way; anything could be romanticized and no cause was too hopeless for Andren Malfoy-Zabini.

"Dad is lying straight out," Lucas said after the door closed behind the group. "He's still saying that mum and da are fine and send their love."

"Daddy says he and da did something wrong and doesn't know how to fix it," Andy supplied, frowning and looking a little lost. "But he said that mum was okay and that we'll see each other for Winter Hols."

"Mum's in France," Gavin said, holding up the envelope his letter came in. "She said that she can't stay with our dads anymore, that they hurt her too much for her to stay with them. I think they broke her heart." Andy's golden eyes filled with tears as she turned to the twins obviously looking for answers. The twins studied each other for a moment before coming to a silent agreement.

"Write da," Linus told Andy, getting out some parchment and a quill for his sister. "Tell him that Gavin's letter came from France and that he'll have to go there if he wants to spend Winter Hols with us."

"Gavin, you write mum," Lucas said, supplying his youngest brother with the same. "Let her know we're coming for break. Ask for a specific address for us to travel to. Tell her Li and I will be requesting an international Portkey if necessary."

"What are you two going to do?" Andren asked, not looking up from her own missive.

"We're going to write dad-"

"Tell him what an idiot he is-"

"And that we've all agreed not to bother speaking to him again until he's apologized to mum." Gavin looked at the two older boys and frowned, unsure.

"Are you sure that's smart? I mean, dad has problems admitting fault – won't this just drive him away?" The twins adopted matching grim looks.

"He's got to learn that he can't lie to us," Linus said. Lucas nodded

"And if he's going to act like an idiot to our mum then lie to us about it, this is exactly what he deserves."

"But he's our _da_," Andy protested, looking up, tears forming in her golden eyes again. "I don't think its right to just ignore him, guys."

"We won't be ignoring him, Andy," Linus said softly, crouching down in front of her. "We're just... not going to talk to him."

"If you get any letters from dad, you give them to us," Lucas said leaning against the door with his arms crossed over his chest. "We can all decide together whether or not we'll answer."

"That sounds better," Gavin murmured, looking back to his own letter.

He only hoped it worked out okay.

---

Ginny was studying the English to French dictionary again one night when a sudden pounding at her door startled her. Her hand jerked, knocking over her glass of water, and she cursed while trying to locate her wand or some napkins or a towel to sop it up.

"Just a minute!" she called, running into the small bathroom for a hand towel.

"Gin! Gin, open the door!" Ginny froze at the voice. That was Blaise's voice. How did he get here? How did he know where to find her? She tossed the towel over the mess and went to the door. Sure enough, there in the spy hole was her husband, but only one of them.

She opened the door slowly, cautiously, as if any sudden movements would set him off. He looked... horrible, actually, like he hadn't slept in weeks. His lip was split and he had a bruise over one eye, another shadowing his jaw. He hadn't shaved in a few days, it seemed, and his clothes were more than a little slept in. He looked so sad, so tired; if he _had_ slept, the man obviously hadn't rested. Blaise looked on the outside exactly as she felt on the inside: broken.

"Oh, Gin," he half sobbed, clutching the doorway, "mi sol... mi corazón... perdone me, por favor perdone me." His hand rose slightly, as if to reach out and touch her, but he seemed to think better of it and let it hang back at his side. Ginny said nothing, just opened the door enough to let him in. He stood in front of the bed, looking a bit unsure but glad he was there all the same. "I-I've missed you so much. I shouldn't have let you go, shouldn't have treated you that way. Please, Gin... _please_ say you'll forgive me." Ginny looked at the floor, thoughts racing through her mind, before she could actually say anything.

"How, uh... how did you find me?" she asked, not moving from the door. Blaise hesitated a moment before drawing a letter out from his cloak pocket.

"Andren wrote me, said Gavin had gotten a letter from you and this was the address listed. I _had_ to come and get you back, Gin; my world is dark without you, mi sol."

"Your, uh... our... Draco isn't here." A black look crossed the Spaniard's face.

"Ese idiota says this is all _foolishness_, says that he did nothing wrong. I told him that we used you when he and I were having our problems, that we ignored you; we left marks on you in anger, querida, and that is unacceptable." Misery filled his deep blue eyes. His accent was coming out, getting just a little thicker with each word. "We pushed you out of our bed, out of our lives. We made you leave us. And he says _nothing_, won't _look_ at me, _refuses_ to admit to the abuse we've put you through. So I say fine, _I_ will come for you, _I_ will get you back even if he won't." Blaise fell to his knees, his heart open on his face. "I don't know how to make this right, querida. All I know is that I was horribly wrong in how I treated you, in how I _allowed_ you to be treated, and that I love you more than life. I _have_ no life without you." Ginny studied him a moment, face blank with shock, then moved over to the bed. She motioned him to come sit next to her and she waited until he was seated before she said anything.

"Why don't you start at the beginning, with whatever problems you and Draco were having," she started, her voice soft, her eyes directed to her lap. "That way I'll know exactly what you're apologizing for."

'_What you should have told me from the start,'_ she added in her head. Blaise took a deep breath and nodded. His hand moved to cover hers, but again he thought better of it and kept it in his lap instead. He cleared his throat, trying to gain a bit more control over himself.

"Right before the kids left for school, Draco and I started having problems, just stupid arguments. I don't even know what started it anymore, but we didn't want to worry you or have the kids start off their term poorly so we kept it to ourselves. I know we should have told you right from the beginning, but we wanted to work everything out ourselves. We've had fights before, just Draco and I, and we've been able to get over them just fine. But suddenly... it was like he and I couldn't agree on anything anymore. And we just kept _hurting_ each other... it was stupid." Blaise ran a hand over his face.

"The day the kids left was kind of the breaking point. It was like something snapped for us; we could barely stay in the same room. We'd just get so angry at each other for _no_ reason and we'd take it out on you and it was _wrong_. I started looking at marriage counsellors for him and me around the time you suggested that we all take a vacation together. I think the vacation might've worked, but he was so _fucking_ stubborn. I had to _drag_ him to the first few meetings with the counsellor. The very first meeting, the counsellor, she asked why you weren't with us but we were still so determined to work it out ourselves; we told her that it wasn't your fight, wasn't your problem. She wasn't happy with us for not bringing you, started saying that she really wanted to meet you and have your opinion about what was going on, that anything happening between two of us should involve the third, but Draco said no and I agreed fully. Neither one of us wanted you caught up in it. She eventually said that Draco and I needed to focus on each other for a while, see if we could renew our passion for one another. One night we just fought so hard and I couldn't stand it anymore. We attacked each other, raced from the study to the bed room and it was almost like we were... punishing each other." Blaise's voice wavered.

"I didn't even notice you were gone until the next morning, and somehow we convinced one another that it was better that way, that we could focus on each other better and then bring you back into it when everything was fixed." Blaise looked at her then, and she saw he was crying. Not heaving sobs, but he wasn't even trying to wipe the tears from his face. His eyes were a tormented blue, speaking of his sorrow and despair for his treatment of her.

"And then that _stupid_ article came out. We'd had a meeting with Bethany Summers earlier that day about acquiring her company; she was going to fold. Somehow she managed to get hair from Draco and I – she'd been after us for years but the only woman we ever wanted was you and she knew it. The only way she'd ever be able to have us was by fooling herself into thinking that it really _was _us. She got two... _prostitutas_ to take a Polyjuice Potion and, well... needless to say the media had a field day. What she did was illegal and wrong and we have _destroyed_ her and her company because of it. What's funny is that when the article came out, it was like a light went on. Draco and I could think on the same page again, like he and I had never been fighting at all. But it wasn't until you were on your way out the door did we realise that we weren't thinking of the most important thing: _you_." Blaise's hand reached out slowly until one of his fingers rested on the back of her hand.

"Your brothers stopped by, after you left. They, uh... they weren't too happy with us." Blaise's free hand traced around his eye lightly, fingered his split lip. "Draco and I spent the first few days searching for any clue as to where you'd gone. We got the media and public under control, but all we really cared about was you. After about four days of nothing, Draco began to shut down. He refuses to say that there ever was a problem. I, ah... I hit him, and the dining room doesn't look like the dining room anymore. He's just being so _stupid_. He won't come out of his study at all, drinks himself into oblivion. The twins wrote him, said that none of the kids will talk to him until he apologizes for being an idiot. It doesn't make anything better but... he doesn't like having their disapproval. And he can't _stand _not having you, Gin." Blaise's hand slid over hers more fully.

"With you gone it's like someone ripped a hole in our hearts. It's even worse than when Draco and I fought. We shouldn't have ignored you, we should have told you _everything_ from the beginning. I can't even _begin_ to apologize for using you like we have, querida."

Ginny was silent, looking at the hand that covered hers while she thought. It was a hand she knew well, as well as she knew her own. That tanned hand with long, even fingers had brought her pleasure, happiness, and now pain. The knuckles were bruised and just a little scraped from when he had hit Draco, which shocked Ginny more then she was willing to admit. Blaise was usually so stable, so calm; it was a very big deal to know that he had hit his husband. Ginny believed him that he was sorry and that they didn't cheat on her. She knew that he hadn't meant to hurt her the way he had. But there was still one part of this equation missing.

"I can't forgive you completely, Blaise," she started, "because it wasn't just you who hurt me. You and Draco did that together, and until he comes to apologize I will still be hurt. But I believe you, and I haven't stopped loving either one of you." Blaise smiled at her, small and still painful, finally wiping his wet face.

"Entiendo. You... you don't have to come back home tonight if you don't want, but um... would it be alright if I stayed with you? I just... I just want to hold you again, Gin, como debería haber. I can't believe how much I've missed simply _holding_ you." Ginny offered him a small smile and nodded.

"I still love you so much," she said softly. "You both hurt me so bad, and I've been nearly killing myself because I still love you two with all of me." It wasn't everything, but it was a start. And she'd missed him terribly, him and Draco both.

Blaise took out a small box from his cloak and held it out to her. Inside was the jewellery she'd taken off when she'd left: Blaise's earrings, Draco's locket and her wedding band. She put the earrings back on, and hesitated a moment before sliding the wedding ring onto its finger. A sense of completion filled her, like part of her was missing. She left the locket in the box; it could wait, she thought, for Draco before she put it back on. Blaise removed his outer clothes and Ginny turned down the bed for them.

They did nothing but hold each other that night, and it was almost exactly what they both needed.

-

In England, Draco's heart clenched. They were together, he knew by the warming of his wedding band. They were together in France, _without him_. There wasn't enough fire whisky in the world to drown the loneliness he felt consuming him from the inside out. He should be there with them; he should have gone with Blaise to apologise to her. But he was too much of a coward, and he was too afraid that she'd reject him as their children had. No, there was no hole deep enough for him to crawl into, no pit black enough for him to hide his guilt.

And he _was_ guilty, guilty of the worst thing imaginable. Blaise didn't know how angry Draco had felt that evening when they found Ginevra curled in their bed. To him, he and Blaise hadn't finished reconciling and he didn't want Ginevra there before she was supposed to be. He could see now what a fool he'd been. She had simply loved him, had wanted to know what was wrong, and he'd been callous and spiteful to her, hateful to her, too blind to realise just how much she gave of herself to him. And Blaise didn't know how Draco had started to really transfer his anger onto their wife; he didn't know how pleased Draco had been to see the bruises _he'd_ left on her arms and hips, the bite marks _he_ had put on her neck and breasts and stomach and thighs. He'd abused his wife, his sweet Ginevra, both physically and mentally and he hadn't even _cared_ at the time.

Draco's face crumpled as he flung himself onto his desk. He became a monster to his own beloved, the woman he'd pledged himself to love and honour and protect for all time, and he couldn't begin to forgive himself, much less see how _she _would ever forgive him.  
--

It wasn't long before the fire whiskey was gone. Then the brandy, the good scotch, the bad scotch, the even worse sherry, the vodka he and Blaise kept in the front parlour, a few of the stronger bottles of wine from the cellar, and even a handful of the twin's muggle beer they kept stashed away in the kitchen. Draco sat on the floor by the fire place, propped up against the side of his desk. Broken glass and ripped liquor labels littered the floor around him. His face was unshaven, his clothes smelling and rumpled, and his hands had small cuts on them; the firelight reflecting on the glass reminded his drunken self so much of Ginevra that he had to touch it.

On the verge of a major pass out (one he secretly hoped he'd never wake up from), Draco dragged a bit of parchment and a quill from under his desk. Through his alcoholic daze, he seemed to be strong enough to write the words he had been at a loss for when sober.

_I'm sorry._

_D._

"M-M-Mos-Mosey!" The house elf appeared in front of him, shaking in fear for his master, pink eyes wide and slightly unsure. "Get thissss to... to your Misssissuss. NOW!" he roared when he decided that Mosey had been taking too long leaving the room.

Mosey raced through the house (the elves weren't allowed to pop into the owlery because it startled the birds), hoping that the letter got to his mistress and other master in time, hoping that whatever the letter said would bring them back so they could help his poor master.

"Lug," the small creature called, "Lug, please – it is being our Master. He is being in trouble and is needing this to go to our Missis." The golden looking owl drifted down from the rafters and sat surprisingly still as the ugly little thing tied the scrap of parchment to his leg. "I think she is being in France," Mosey mumbled, fussing with the tie. "Our Master Zabini has been left for France; our Missis should be being in the same place. Please, Lug, hurry."

--

"Blaise!" Gin called into the bathroom, "Blaise, Draco's owl is here! Could you bring out a cup of water? Lug looks like he flew a bit faster then he's used to."

"Sure thing." Blaise swung out of the bathroom, towel hung about his waist with a small cup of water for his husband's owl as Ginny removed the scrap of parchment meticulously tied to the bird's leg. It wasn't addressed, but the shaky, drunken scrawl, blotted with ink, different forms of alcohol and what looked to be small bits of blood in varying stages of drying told everything. Ginny jumped up and started throwing things into her bags.

"We have to... we shouldn't have left him, Blaise." It was all she needed to say as the dark haired man stared in horror at the parchment himself. He tossed on his now fresh clothes and helped her put things into her bags. They rushed out the door and to the elevator. Blaise held her tightly to him, feeling her shaking with fear for their partner all the way down.

"We shouldn't have left him, Blaise," she repeated, face turned into his cloak. "We know how he can react to things."

"He's been an idiot, Gin," the dark haired man said, his voice belying the rough emotion he felt. He just got his sun back; would he have to lose his moon now, as well?

---

Severe alcohol poisoning; of all the ways a wizard could try to kill himself, Draco Malfoy-Zabini had tried alcohol poisoning. He was hooked up via tubes to a grand device that was supposed to clean the toxins from his blood and liver, but the final damage was unknown. Three days and he still hadn't woken up; the medi-wizards were unsure if a full recovery was possible, even with all the magic at their fingertips. Ginny and Blaise had pulled the kids out of Hogwarts for the time being, having their school work sent directly to the hospital so that they could all be together. The twins felt horrible; it had been their idea to punish their father when they knew he was most likely already hurting from the loss of their mother. They explained their actions to their mum and da, and Ginny had held them, saying that they couldn't have known that he'd do anything like this. Andren hadn't left the circle of her daddy's arms since they had arrived. More than once, the healers and medi-wizards had to lift a sleeping Gavin from his dad's bed so that he wouldn't accidentally roll over on to one of the tubes.

A week went by and while Draco's physical condition did improve enough for him to be unhooked, he still didn't wake up. Narcissa and Lucius visited as much as they could, though they didn't camp out in the hospital as the Malfoy-Zabini's had. Molly and Arthur even stopped by every now and then to see how Ginny and the kids were holding up. Ginny was actually starting to get very sick, rushing to the bathroom when she wasn't sitting with her husbands and children. After much cajoling, and a final plea from Blaise ("You can't _not_... please, Gin, Draco's already... just let them have a _look _at you, Gin, _please_"), Ginny agreed to let a medi-witch look her over. Nothing could really have prepared them for the results, though.

"What? Another _what_?"

"Congratulations, Mrs. Malfoy-Zabini." The medi-witch beamed at Ginny and Blaise. "You're pregnant again! You're about 8 to 9 weeks along. Your tests can't be completely certain yet at this point, but it looks like it'll be twins!" Ginny stared at the woman, face a mask of disbelief. That meant that she had gotten pregnant before she had left the house, right before she had left their bed.

"Oh, Gin," Blaise said, his voice broken as he turned to her, "Gin I'm _so _sorry. To make something so beautiful out of something so violento-"

"Yes, the way it happened was ugly," she interrupted him, "but a life is _always _beautiful and we'll make sure that these children knows only love, just like all the others." Ginny took a breath and sighed. She really wanted to believe what she said, really wanted it to happen that way. But without Draco, that would be rather difficult. "Would it be okay if I sat with Draco alone for a while? You can take the kids out to lunch; they look like they need a break." Blaise nodded and ran a hand down her hair.

"Okay," he said, kissing her forehead softly. "We'll be back in two hours; will that be alright?"

"Yes," she looked up into his eyes, so blue and sure and wonderful, "that should be more than enough."

"We'll bring you back something to eat; you should start having more than just a salad, querida." He kissed her softly then rounded up the kids.

She waited until everyone was out of the room before taking a seat next to her blonde husband. She didn't take his hand, didn't lean over the edge on the mattress; she merely sat in the chair, waiting for the words to come. It didn't take very long – she had been thinking about what to say to him since she left.

"You know, I don't think I ever told you, but when Blaise first came to me about you when we were still in Hogwarts, I was terrified that he'd eventually leave me for you. He assured me he wouldn't, but it took me a very long time to get over that fear. And then you asked me to marry you; you asked _me_ first, Draco, and that meant everything. After that I knew you loved me, I knew that you cared for me _exactly the same_ as you did Blaise. Or at least, I thought you did. I was _so sure_ that you loved Blaise and me equally, that we were the same in your heart. I was positive that you'd never forget me. But you did; all it took was 18 years of marriage and four children, and you forgot who I was and who you were to me. And now we're going to have another two more children, Draco. I'm pregnant again, with _twins_. And I need you to wake up now so that you can tell me that you're sorry again and that you still love me and that you'll never forget me again. I _need_ you to wake up and apologize, Draco. I need you to tell me that you'll never hurt me again. Blaise explained to me everything that happened, but you need to open your eyes now. So open your eyes, Draco... _open your eyes_."

Ginny waited for what seemed like forever, and then his hand twitched. It moved in her direction, his fingers looking to grasp her own.

"Open your eyes, Draco," she repeated gently, not taking his hand but leaning over slightly. "I'm right here, just wake up and look at me."

And there he was, grey eyes foggy but lucid and trained unwaveringly on her. She smiled at him softly, to let him know that he was okay.

"Good afternoon, Draco. Would you like some water?" Draco blinked and gave a small nod. He was parched and ached and water sounded almost as heavenly as her voice. He had dreamed of her so often, though, that it wasn't until Ginny held the cup of water up to his dried and cracked lips, tilting it slowly so he didn't end up with water all down his front, did he realise that she really _was _there. Ginny waited until he was finished and poured him another cup when his eyes begged for more. All that time, his eyes never once left hers, as if afraid she'd disappear again unless he was watching her. After the second cup, she set the glass down and sat back, studying him once more.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" she asked him, not accusingly but genuinely curious. "It's not like you to do anything so stupid." Draco swallowed, wincing at the pain he still felt.

"Drinking myself to death wasn't stupid," he croaked, his voice dry yet full of sorrow. "Letting you walk away was stupid. _Pushing_ you away was stupid. Abusing you was unforgivable." Ginny looked at him a moment, then nodded.

"Those things were very stupid, but you're wrong about some of that, Draco. I can forgive you if you ask me to. I _want_ to forgive you, but you need to let me know you want it first." Draco's eyes filled as he looked at her. She had never seen him cry before; not in their 18 years of marriage, not in the almost 23 years they'd been together had she once seen him shed a single tear. As they spilled over now, crystalline blue on pale porcelain skin, she knew his sincerity.

"I feel like I should spend the rest of my life trying to make up for marking you, for making you feel hated, Ginevra. There's nothing I can say, though. 'I'm sorry' just seems too... _inadequate_ for what I've done." Now Ginny's hands covered his. Her golden eyes shone with love and acceptance and everything Draco knew he was unworthy of.

"They may _seem_ inadequate, but they're all you need to say, Draco." Draco stared at her, trying and failing to keep his face from crumbling.

"I'm so sorry, Ginevra," he choked, struggling over a sob. "I-I'm _so_ _sorry_. Please forgive me." Ginny moved onto the bed next to him, holding him as she had longed to for so many weeks.

"I love you, Draco," she told him as she let him cry. "Nothing will ever stop me from loving you. And I do forgive you. I'll _always_ forgive you if you let me. My moon, my man," she said, stroking his hair as he calmed himself. His arms clutched at her, as if afraid that she would leave at any moment. After a while he was okay again, but he held her still.

"Where's Blaise?" he asked, his voice steady though rough from his emotional jag.

"He took the kids out so that I could talk to you. You've been in the hospital for over a week and we wanted the children around in case anything bad happened." Draco nodded into her chest, then frowned.

"You're not wearing your locket, the one I gave you." Ginny smiled passed his head and stretched behind her to the bedside table.

"I wanted to make sure we were okay again before I put it back on," she said, moving her arms slightly to re-clasp the necklace around her neck. "Speaking of kids, we're pregnant again." Draco started nodded again but froze once he comprehended what she said.

"What?" he leaned up, looking at her with blank eyes and slack jaw. Ginny smirked.

"That's the same reaction Blaise and I had once we found out. You're not behind the power-curve; we only found out today. But the medi-witch says it might be twins again." Draco blinked.

"When... when did you... did _we_-"

"Right before I started staying in the guest room." She wasn't about to lie to him, not after everything they'd just been through. A pained look flashed across his features again.

"Oh, Ginevra-"

"_No_," she held up a hand, stopping him. She didn't lie about that and she wouldn't lie about this either. "I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Blaise. The way it happened was ugly but a life is always beautiful and we'll make sure that these two, if there are two, know only love, just like all of our other children." Draco watched her, unsure silver eyes becoming more resolute as he realised she was right. One of his hands reached over to her still flat stomach, his eyes trained on hers.

"This will be our second chance, Ginevra," he whispered. "_This_ will be my apology. There is no greater gift, no more sincere or deeper meaning than this." Ginny smiled and leaned over, hand cupping his rough cheek as she kissed him softly.

Blaise and the children found them sleeping like that, curled together, an hour and a half later. Blaise couldn't have been happier.

* * *

tada. i haven't been feeling quite as fluffy lately (the third trimester is no fun), so this reflects that. the last children born to Ginny, Draco and Blaise are named Samson and Seth Malfoy-Zabini. they are non-identical twins of the Zabini bloodline. Samson is more aristocratic looking, though, and Seth looks like he could go a round with a dragon and maybe come out on top. they both have semi-curly black hair, though, and are very dashing to the female population of Hogwarts while they are attending. oh, and Gavin calls both Draco and Blaise 'dad,' though he is biologically Draco's son. Draco's owl, Lug, is pronounced 'Loo'. the translations below are taken from Google Translate and if they're wrong then i apologize. i didn't take Spanish or French in school, so i have to rely on machines to tell me what's right.

Bonjur: hello

Oui: yes

s'il vous plait: if you please

un poste vacant: one vacancy

merci beaucoup: thank you very much

Oui, Madame, an a aucun mal à: yes, madam, it was of no trouble.

si vous souhaitez: if you would like

bien entendu: of course/naturally

Maldito sea: damn it

Nos siguen: follow us

Mi sol... Mi corazón... perdone me, por favor perdone me: my sun... my heart, forgive me, please forgive me

Ese idiota: that idiot

Prostitutas: prostitutes

Querida: dear one (fem.)

Entiendo: I understand

como debería haber: as I should have

Violento: violent, savage, ugly

AS ALWAYS, i can't know what to fix if no one tells me. so please review to the best of your ability.


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